Can someone who is truly in love still cheat, and how might the manosphere influence the way men understand love and fidelity
What was the most unforgivable action in a romantic relationship - cheating, right? Think back to a time when you were in a relationship where you may have cheated or have been cheated on, was that a loving relationship? Were you in love?
According to the article Defining Intimacy in Romantic Relationships, Barton F. Moss and Andrew I. Schwebel discusses how gender roles undermine a relationship and how certain power dynamics that favor the man's power in relationships could potentially promote infidelity. Also it illustrates the importance of intimacy in romantic relationships, because without it a romantic relationship tends to more likely end in divorce or break-up. Think back to a romantic relationship, experiencing low intimacy at a certain period - was there a need to search for that intimacy else where, did you experience relationship hardships?
Now, The book Man Out: Men on the Sidelines of American Life, expands on this idea through a different lens. It discusses how society has isolated men, which has turned them over to toxic masculinity. During the younger years of a man's life it is shown that the more sexual ‘conquests’ a man has the more attention and validation they receive. This makes it easier for them to develop this misogynistic point of view and develop habits that are closely aligned with cheating.
Most people have had some experience with toxic romantic relationships. An article by Lori R. Williams, Heather A. Rueda, and Julie Nagoshi, expands on this unfortunate experience in the chapter Trust, cheating, and dating violence in Mexican Americans adolescent romantic relationships in the journal of Society for Social Work and Research. This research shows a surprising correlation between peers and violent relationships. Where young adolescent Mexican Americans are influenced by Mexican culture that describes how it is acceptable to cheat for males whilst not acceptable for females. This double standard is a commonplace idea in the manosphere, when favouring men. It's described in the article how these young men will react physically and violently when hearing they are convinced a partner has cheated - usually through a friend.
When discussing relationships it's always important to understand specific roles and power between gender. So now I will be drawing upon Discussing love: gender, sexuality and power in Dr Deevia Bhana’s Empowering Women for Gender Equity. Gender and power are central to a healthy relationship and Dr Deevia Bhana articulates this stating that relationship between gender and power how love isn't just emotional but also maintained by gender roles. This shows that gender roles are key in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Adding on to the manosphere, The men and women, guys and girls of the ‘manosphere’ adds an interesting side to this story. Discussed in the article, there is a sexual exploitation of women on many mainstream sites and tabloids for example reddit. This has reinforced harmful stereotypes and misconceptions that are damaging to women.
Overall, It’s important to understand the manosphere has become a way for the isolated and youthful to assert control and dominance. It's important to understand that various social contexts can have an effect on the idea of love. And more importantly to better understand how love is used sometimes with violent intent.
Sources:
Title: Defining Intimacy in Romantic Relationships
Citation: Moss, B. F., & Schwebel, A. I. (1993). Defining intimacy in romantic relationships.
Family Relations, 42(1), 31-37. https://doi.org/10.2307/584918
Title: Introducing love: gender, sexuality and power
Citation: Bhana, D. (2013). Introducing love: Gender, sexuality and power. Agenda:
Empowering Women for Gender Equity, 27(2), 3-11.
Title: Man Out: Men on the Sidelines of American Life
Citation: Yarrow, A. L. (2018). Masculinity, mating, and misogyny. In Man out: Men on the
sidelines of American life (pp. 61-84). Brookings Institution Press.
Title: The men and women, guys and girls of the ‘manosphere’: A corpus-assisted discourse approach
Citation: Krendel, A. (2020). The men and women, guys and girls of the ‘Manosphere’: A
corpus-assisted discourse approach. Discourse and Society, 31(6), 607-630.
Title: Trust, Cheating, and Dating Violence in Mexican American Adolescent Romantic Relationships
Citation: Williams, L. R., Rueda, H. A., & Nagoshi, J. (2014). Trust, cheating, and dating
violence in Mexican Americans adolescent romantic relationships. Journal of the
Society for Social Work and Research, 5(3), 339-360. https://doi.org/10.1086/677174