How social media Impacts the way we see ourselves

Andrew Puplampu

How social media impacts the way we see ourselves

Andrew posts a selfie and gets a ton of likes on it almost immediately. Comments and fire emojis follow. Jason changes his profile picture to a gym mirror pic and gets a ton of attention. But when Maurice talks about his anxiety, he gets three likes. One from his mom, one from his aunt, and one from a bot. Classic social media. The silent message from the internet seems to be that pretty gets attention and real gets ignored. Social media changes the way we view “being seen” in the real world. Mr. Chen says that online popularity has nothing to do with how real a person is, or how talented. It is simply about how the person performs and looks while doing it. Everyone is desperate for attention and the quickest way to get it is to simply have an “aesthetic” or “attractive” appearance. And people don’t necessarily have bad intentions. But social media apps we use simply just reward the shiny and clickable. It’s as if our brains have been rewired to prefer the highlight reel and ignore the realness of life.[1]

Mr. Tim Jordan takes it deeper and examines this “networked individualism” phenomenon which is basically all of us trying to avoid being irrelevant online.[2] With algorithms favoring attention seekers, we chase it as if it’s the last ticket to stardom. It’s as if each like is an form of currency, and being visible is exhausting. Every detail becomes a strategic decision. Is the caption too serious, does the lighting flatter, and does this angle make me look chopped? Personality still counts but it’s pretty much an obstacle to going viral. This feeling is universal, although the experience may differ by region. Comparatively, Mr. Miller and friends who studied social media in nine different countries described the social media experience as a garbage feeling when in contrast to the connective feeling others described.[3] But it’s still true in all cases and all social media. Appearance is the first thing noticed, especially the “hot” or “happy” photos that get greater engagement.³ Ad claims of “posting for myself” still have a more covert pressure to look good. This pressure is always-present and inescapable, like taxes.

Some people get impacted even more from all this. Ms. Stovall describes “image slavery” and how absurdly intense pressure applies to women(mainly black women), to twist, suffocate, and narrow themselves to the standards of beauty. Yet, she clearly shows how these women are resisting this pressure, defining beauty on their own terms, standards “unfiltered” and unquestioned. It is very inspiring, and while at the same time heartbreaking, that it has to be a resistance.[4]

Do you remember that “You look disgusting” video from Em Ford? She showed a makeup look and a no makeup look, and the internet went out of control. In an earlier piece, Ms. Tarvin described how people missed the whole point of her video. Instead of discussing what Em Ford really said about self-worth and confidence, they just debated whether she was good looking enough without the makeup. That's the trap: social media pretends to be a place for self-expression, while, in fact, it turns people into objects for judgement.[5]

Let this be your lesson: social media makes it too easy to forget that likes do not equal being likable. The more we seek validation from our screens, the more we forget the ache of actually connecting. Above all, remember you are not your last post, and you are not a selfie. You are a person, complete with the unfiltered, unedited stories, strange ids, and imperfections that make you so unique. You are a whole lot of things that cannot be captured and neatly boxed.